the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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