a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
