You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
