how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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