Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
