He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
false alarm, still single
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize