If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We are all done wearing pants today
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
