Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
