I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
