HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
