: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize