nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize