I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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