I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
