so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he quoted the bible to break up with me
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
