Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize