I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
