i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
