I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
