My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
