I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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