Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
