i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He told me they were just razor bumps!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
