Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I need moral support for this bender
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
