how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
