He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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