OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
