So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
