just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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