I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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