If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
