I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
