bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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