Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Sorry about my life...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
