I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
