Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
