You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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