I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
