if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize