Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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