I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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