So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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