I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
