The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
