fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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