im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
