Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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