We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
