chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
