I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize