I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
