Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
