i barfeds in our rink
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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