Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize