Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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