a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
