I'm sorry my penis didn't work
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize