yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
