Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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