Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
